Who says you can’t do it? Discover the art of self-confidence.
Know yourself and you will win all battles. – Sun Tzu
Hey my friend,
How are you doing? It’s Ionutcoach here. This week I will talk to you about self-confidence and why so many people struggle with it.
There are so many things to speak about self-confidence but today I want to share with you the essential about this. Are you ready?
Firstly, most people they are confused, lack of direction in life, no meaning in what they do and often end up in a situation when will put themselves down. The reason why most people give up on themselves and having problems with self-confidence is that they really don’t know themselves enough to stand by who are they, even if they must stand up alone. Other people opinion about us influence a lot our self-confidence if we don’t know we are worthy no matter what other people think or say about us. The environment is very important too. To surround yourself with people who believe in you, trust you, encourage you and support you when you need to.
Secondly, if you don’t believe in yourself you will never make a difference in anything you do, and this obviously will influence a lot your self-confidence. Brian Tracy says that the first step to succeeding in life is to believe in yourself at 100% if you doubt even 1% you will not make it. But how do you believe in yourself? Work on yourself is the answer. Try new things, do what you are the best at and keep it up the right attitude and opinion about yourself. Who says you can’t do it? Prove them wrong!
Thirdly, one of the reasons you may struggle with self-confidence it could be the wrong idea you might have about yourself. I will break it down for you. Nowadays we want to be perfect to appear with no imperfection, in other words, to be fake, most people try to be who they are not, that’s why being the face and not true to themselves they lose their identity and potentially end up in depression or mental health problems. Do you know anyone going through this? Or maybe someone close to you? Or could be maybe you? My advice to you is: stop trying to be perfect as the society and your friends want you, focus on discovering yourself better and better every day, and accept who you are and love yourself first, and you will have again the confidence you always wanted to have.
Here I shared with you some of the factors that could influence negatively your self-confidence. Now let me share with you some of the inspirational actions you could take to discover the art of self-confidence. The reason I called the art, is because I believe self -confidence is like any art out there, you need to be creative, simple and open, relax and honest with yourself.
Here some activities to help you with your self-confidence:
1. Look after yourself. This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing. Try a massage too.
2. Dress nicely. A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable. Even Primark.
3. Think positive. One of the things I learned when I started running, about 4 years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within 6 months. Seriously. Try it if you haven’t.
4. Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analysing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with
even greater self-confidence.
7. Act positive. More than just thinking positive, you must put it into action. Action is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, act instead of telling yourself you can’t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference.
8. Be kind and generous. know that being kind to others, and generous with yourself and your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. you start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe me.
9. Get prepared. It’s hard to be confident in yourself if you don’t think you’ll do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: if you haven’t studied, you won’t have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam. But if you studied your butt off, you’re prepared, and you’ll be much more confident. Now think of life as your exam and prepare yourself.
10. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don’t know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. For myself, I try to live up to my standards (and fail often). This is my key principle, and I try to live my life in accordance with it. I have others, but they are mostly in some way related to this rule (the major exception being to “Live my Passion”). Think about your principles … you might have them but perhaps you haven’t given them much thought. Now think about whether you live these principles, or if you just believe in them but don’t act on them.
11. Speak slowly. Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to. Even if you don’t feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel more confident. Of course, don’t take it to an extreme, but just don’t sound rushed either.
12. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, don’t try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you’ll be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write (for example), and the practice will increase your competence.
14. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You’ll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you’ll be at it, and the better you’ll feel. Soon you’ll be getting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.
15. Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you’ve accomplished it, you’ll feel like a winner?
16. Focus on solutions. If you are a complainer, or focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and your career. “I’m fat and lazy!” So how can you solve that? “But I can’t motivate myself!” So how can you solve that? “But I have no energy!” So, what’s the solution?
17. Smile. Another trite one. But it works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it helps me to be kinder to others as well. A little tiny thing that can have a chain reaction. Not a bad investment of your time and energy.
18. Volunteer. Related to the “be kind and generous” item above, but more specific. It’s the holiday season right now … can you find the time to volunteer for a good cause, to spread some holiday cheer, to make the lives of others better? It’ll be some of the best time you’ve ever spent, and an amazing side benefit is that you’ll feel better about yourself, instantly. I volunteer a lot with charities in London, and overseas too, Africa, India, Romania, Italy.
19. Be grateful. I’m a firm believer in gratitude, as anyone who’s been reading this blog I believe are grateful too. But I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity … it can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image.
20. Exercise. Gosh, I seem to put this one on almost every list. But if I left it off this list I would be doing you a disservice. Exercise has been one of my most empowering activities in the last couple years, and it has made me feel so much better about myself. All you must do is take a walk a few times a week, and you’ll see benefits.
21. Empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge. This is along the same vein as building competence and getting prepared … by becoming more knowledgeable, you’ll be more confident … and you become more knowledgeable by doing research and studying. The Internet is a great tool, of course, but so are the people around you, people who have done what you want, books, magazines, and educational institutions.
22. Do something you’ve been procrastinating on. What’s on your to-do list that’s been sitting there? Do it first thing in the morning and get it out of the way. You’ll feel great about yourself.
23. Work on small things. Trying to take on a huge project or task can be overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone, even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small chunks and work in bursts. Small little achievements make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements. Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you’ll be a self-confident maniac.
Are you ready now to become a confident person?
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We will talk about self confidence or others personal needs you might have, your struggles and how to overcome any obstacle.
Let me know your thoughts.
Share to inspire and remember always Live. Love. Dream
Your friend and coach
Ionut Iulian Ungureanu
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